Shifting Sand Inn

ZebraGoBoom wrote:We meet in the Shifting Sands Inn. It's an inn near some shifting sands.

We go to the sparkle room. Ironicakly, its the only room without sparkles

As I enter the Sparkle Room I realize the area is gay and I leave.

I sit at the bar drinking my 15th pint of beer, drunkedly swinging around a cattle prod. I decide it's time to sing about my long lost sock and halfway through the song I start sobbing uncontrollably. Then...

I constantly ask the bartender if they sell Mr. Pibb. Nobody sells Mr. Pibb...

I saunter up to the bar and get a whole bottle of Buttershots, taking a few sips as I examine the rag-tag bunch of mercenaries around me, stroking my tail in my lap and cleaning my claws

As I realize that there is no Mr. Pibb I cry as I instead order an ale because Pibb is non-existant in this place.

U asked fo it

No. I wanted a Pibb....Pibb....

"Uhm, excuse me ma'am but what is a Pibb?" I keep drinking my from bottle

"Let me explain! Pibb is a sweet nector conjured by Lucifers breweries of...brewing. It's what gives me energy, zest, power, and sleepless nights! If I don't have Pibb soon...I'll go insane with thirst!" I sit on the ground and dream of the sweet nector.

"That sounds oddly familiar... Perhaps one of those cases or barrels out back would have it?... I may or may not have seen it when I was, erm, scouting"

No

I leave because I drank all the beer the Inn had, time to search for more!

I drink water because I don't drink alcohol. Drunkards.
It's expensive though, more expensive than beer. Anybody want to lend me some >currency<?

Sounds like somebody's coming. (disappear into darkness above rafters)

I stride into the bar (as much as an emaciated mummy can stride), carrying the drunken dwarf. All the non-mercenary patrons of the car salute respectfully. I throw the dwarf on the ground and address the mercenaries. "It seems that some of you didn't manage to make it on time, despite being given several days' notice. Well, we cannot wait any longer, so I'm giving the assignments now. You two," I say, pointing to Stason and Sand Guardian, "will be going to Lucifer's Breweries of Brewing to retrieve the recipes for the powerful magical drink, Mr. Pibb. The rest of you, including anyone who has yet to show up, will be travelling out of the Sand Kingdom, through the Forest of Large, Angry Trees, across the Supot Volcano, and down into the Veryominous Trench. You'll have to find a way to get down there, it's not my problem. At the end of the Trench, you will find Jake's Compressed Khaki Castle, home of Jake, from State Farm. Kill him, and retrieve the Contract of Premier Service, which all allow us to insure all of our war machines and weapons. The Mr. Pibb group will join the main group when they complete their mission. This quest will be long and difficult, and some of you may die, but I don't really care because we can hire other mercenaries. Go forth, and bring glory to the Sand Kingdom, and I will give you more money."

I swing down by my legs hanging upside down from the beam. "Money sounds good to me"
((is there a certain currency? what is it worth?))

I grab my sword and raise it. "This will be so badass! Unless there's traps. Traps are not badass."

"Ughhhh where am I" I say getting off the floor, "god damnit I'm here again.... SOMEONE GET ME SOME FUCKING BEER!!!" I jump up and hit the bartender with my cattle prod telling him to fuck himself because he won't give me beer.

((Henceforth all currency will be measured in Edbux, equivalent in value to $10 USD))

Bursts through the doors "Sorry I'm late! I was at an ink swimming competition."

"Well, what are you waiting for? The more time you waste here, the less you get paid! Go!"

I need more beer before I leave!!! Get me some!

"You guys heard him, every second we waste here is less money later. Let's go!"
i give Weeshknaw a beer and whisper "they don't know it but this is on the house".

"All right, who's leading us?"